Technical hitchs and secrecy glitchs

Due to a minor technical hitch, in which it had been so long since I last blogged I actually forgot how to log in to WordPress, a post I wrote months ago never got published.

Because I know what was going on in my head at the time of writing this blog, it seems a little out of date to me now, but you guys shouldn’t really be put off by that, and more importantly…it’s all I’ve got…the creative well’s a little dry lately…I’m working on it.

Anyway, for what it’s worth, here it is…

An old work colleague of mine from Cambridge recently got back from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, where she has been performing a show she wrote. I went to see its inaugural performance at the Hen and Chickens Theatre Bar in Highbury Corner, before its arrival at the Fringe and as I watched, I realised something that had never occurred to me before.

As Lizzy explained, the premise of the show had come about one drunken evening when – sozzled on various alcoholic concoctions – she confessed to having a crush on a stranger that she kept bumping into by accident. She decided that in order to gain some confidence to deal with the matter, she would contact everyone she had ever had a secret crush on and fess up.

It was a pretty ballsy plan and she did it on camera, eliciting various reactions. Her motto throughout was “be WOTM”, which I believe stood for women of the moment, but according to Google it actually means ‘women of the moose’. In the absence of an explanation for that anomaly, I’ll move on.

The basic point is, that there was a moral to her rather lovely and very funny story, which was to grab life, and maybe a few crushes, by the balls and tell them! Admit it, she proclaimed, what’s the worst that could happen?! For a split second, I actually fell in with the consensus of the room at that moment – it was a great theory.

No sooner had I begun considering who would be first on my list before I realised; all the people I’ve ever had crushes on already know! There isn’t a single secret one. I can never be that discreet. I might keep quiet for the first few days, or weeks, maybe months if there is some greater force at work, but there is no-one that has been fortunate enough to escape the eventual revelation that I’m at that moment besotted with them.

I’ll never understand how other people are so discreet, I can see why it’s beneficial, but I can’t do it. If I feel something, sooner or later I’ll vocalise it, and probably very soon after that I’ll regret it.

Blurting out the truth is kind of my thing, it’s not just something I do when I’ve got a crush. It is really any time that something is burdening my consciousness. It might come out in context, or completely randomly, it’ll usually be facilitated by alcohol and rarely accompanied with any real care over the delivery…so for those of you who have been on the receiving end, there you go, you should understand now, I’ve said it!